Category Archives: my testimony unfolding

The Scariest Thing in the History of Ever

So…if you follow me on Instagram or Facebook, then you may already know that we have chickens!!!!  Yes! Three of them. It’s one of those things I’ve always wanted to try/have/experience. We’ve had this coop in our backyard for nearly 4 years and since I got the garden straightened out and established earlier than usual, it just seemed like the timing was right to give it a go.    Introducing our new “girls”!

Chickpea ProductionsTwo Chickens

I promise, this is not about to become another “chicken blog” no more than I’m about to become a recipe or mommy blogger. Pinkie promise, I’ll keep the chicken pix to a minimum!

Ok here’s another thing: my gardens. They’re beautiful this year. I finally got the vegetables “boxed” in and the micro-irrigation system is set perfectly. The weeds in the flower beds were kept largely at bay thanks to an extra layer of winter hay and everything is  filling in so nicely. Nicely enough that I’ve even started working in a few other spots of this quiet little .75-acre plot we’ve called home for the past 13 years.

welcome gnomeVegetable Garden

Ah yes, the house.

 Projects are beginning to take shape as we’re looking around and realizing this may be the year to finally take care of that home improvement list. Maybe replace the linoleum in the kitchen and bathrooms and get a coat of fresh paint on the bedroom walls. Maybe find a better, new-to-us sofa.

Bicycle Route Flower Garden

Then, you know, our daughter got married a few months ago and they’re doing great. Middle son will finish up his second year of college and the “baby” is almost a Junior in high school. We’ve definitely turned the corner around here!

You’d think  by now,  that my sweet man and I would be settling down in glorious contentment, ready to take up our positions in some porch rockers, watching sunsets and waiting for those grandbabies to roll in. Except we aren’t.

Because we can’t.

See, there was this moment I can’t get over.  God started shaking and moving in and around us in unmistakable ways.  All that “God-stuff” I’d been decorating my life with started getting real personal and personally REAL.  My static and flat, flannel-board understanding of God sprang to life in my soul,  sharpening into full-color 3D.

And I heard Him call.
Specifically, I heard the Great Commission.

It’s a long, long story about how I discovered there was such a thing but I guess it’s more important to confess right now that up until that point in my life,  I’d NEVER heard the word “missionary” (I don’t think Annie Lennox counts 😉 ).  I certainly couldn’t have told you what it meant.  However,  make no mistake… I heard what I heard in a way  I’d never  heard it before.

                God had my complete attention.

This “Great Commission”, as it’s called, is found in Matthew chapter 28. Jesus, as you probably know, has been crucified and buried, only to be raised again on the third day, defeating sin and death forever.  He spends the next 40 days appearing to His followers instructing them and helping them connect the dots for the past, present and future.  At the end of this time, He ascends to heaven with these words:

“All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.
Go therefore and make disciples of all nations,
baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,

teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you.
And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

I really didn’t understand the Bible then, but I wanted to. I was trying.  Wrongly,  I had been taught that it was simply a  guidebook full of good wisdom, but soon I began to understand and experience that it’s truly the living Word of God.    Because those words— they got me. Hard. I knew deep in my soul that those words were not only meant for them that day. I absolutely knew those words .. were meant for me,  for us— my husband and I…. now.

That was only the beginning.

Igcognito God

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Recently, my daughter was laughing about our chickens and how we’d never be able to go anywhere now.  True, it does seem a little bit crazy looking around at these things I love and cherish… the flower collection and the little brick walkway I spent a whole summer hammering and shaping into a prayer garden. The HUGE slab of rock I actually loaded onto a moving truck because I wanted to make a bench.  The painted bicycle out front.  My cats.  And now the chickens.

The fact is…. I’m quite comfortable.      And it scares me to death.

purple lantana cross

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Because you know, you can’t un-see something you’ve seen and you can’t un-hear or un-know something… no matter how hard it is to know. No matter how the uncertainty of it all scares you.  Because, in my mind at least,  there is something even scarier:

                 disobedience.

To me, what’s even more frightening is vainly trying to hold on to the temporary pleasures of this world and somehow miss the fullness of the eternal joys found in stepping forward in faith.

The most terrifying thing of all:  staying put knowing I heard “Go” and missing the mark.

Come and Die

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There is no timeline here.

We are exploring our options carefully and prayerfully, listening to God and to one another as we study His word and seek His wisdom. Meantime, we’re  loving wildly, seeking to “bloom where we’re  planted” here and now.

There’s a garden to tend, kitties to pet –a community and church family to serve and love right where we are. There’s a home that needs a good bit of TLC, a couple of sons to get through school and a daughter to visit this summer.  There’s life right here. While we wait.

And chickens. Three of them and hopefully…. tomorrow…. there will be an egg.

So.. what is God saying to you today?

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loosed by love to stand up straight and free

“a bruised reed he will not break,
 and a smoldering wick he will not quench,
until he brings justice to victory;”
                                              Matthew 12:20

It’s fascinating.

It’s my third year making this 40-day journey through the New Testament and I’m pure-T astounded at all the things I’m reading for the first time— though it’s surely not the first time.  I’m convinced more now than ever before, that this Word from God we are privileged to hold and read and live from, is always currently alive and timelessly breathing God’s meaning into our lives.

In fact, what I’m discovering this time around is that I’m not simply reading the Bible;  the Bible is reading ME…  and it’s reading God into me and shedding His light all over the place.

It’s probably why I can see her now.

Loosed by Love

Honestly, I‘d never noticed her before… not really. But there she is, in the thirteenth chapter of Luke— a woman bent over, doubled in two, crippled and tormented by an evil spirit… for 18 years.

Eight. Teen. Years.

She was bent over and unable… to stand up straight.
For 18 years, she was there, day after day… Sabbath after Sabbath — bent over and unable to stand… in the church.

How have I never seen this before?  I found myself asking questions like:

     Why did she stay?
What bent her so badly?

     What kept her from being able to stand?
What weight pulled at her so hard that her gaze never left the ground?
     Looking down for so long that maybe… she had stopped hoping to ever see the sky.

And those Pharisees and Scribes– those “Men of God”,  when did they stop noticing her?Did they ever see her at all?  Why was she so invisible to them?

Because here, it’s the Sabbath and Jesus has come to town to teach;  to open the Word of God in the temple– He’s come to BE the Word of God in their midst… in ours.

 Luke says that Jesus,  as he is teaching, notices this poor woman. He sees her. He didn’t have to ask what was wrong; he already knew. He also knew how long she had suffered— and why.

She didn’t even ask. Maybe in her mind, she had come to expect nothing would change about her condition or the way she’d been treated. She had grown used to being bent by this evil spirit and the burden she bore. She had become accustomed to not being able to stand.

Even in her own mind,  she was invisible.

Jesus is there for one day and she’s one of the first things He notices. Calling her to Himself, he touches her and instantly…

She could  STAND STRAIGHT.
Healed and whole, she stood— looking Jesus in the eyes and she praised God !

Of course, it’s a scandal and an embarrassment to the men of the temple and the leader chastises Jesus (God!) instructing the crowd that there are six other days to do this kind of work but the Sabbath isn’t one of them.

Seriously?

Because what other days are there and what better place is there to find healing and wholeness than in the church on the Sabbath? And Jesus tells them so.

Not to mention…. EIGHTEEN YEARS.

 This woman had gone un-healed, un-noticed and un-cared for– being further bent over, burdened and shamed through the negligence of the very ones who professed to know God most… and yet knew Him not at all. They had been so busy with the “work of the church”— maintaining rules and regulations, buildings and reputations, they’d lost sight of the true work of God: worship and witness… truth and mercy.

It’s easy to do.

They’d been reading God’s words, but on this day, the Word of God was coming to read THEM.  Jesus has come to teach. He’s come to set her… and me, and the bent and broken record straight,  giving us a way to stand— whole, again.

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I’ve been in the presence of many such women all gloriously touched and made whole by God. In the hills of Northern Kenya I met Rose. On the dusty streets of Nairobi, I met a former prostitute named Claire*.  Yesterday, I sat in a room with a woman once broken by addiction. And just this morning… I locked eyes with the girl in the mirror… and smiled because she knows.   Because she is known.

As one who’s spent time bent over and unable to stand  I’m here to testify, there is nothing sweeter than being called to Jesus, and hearing Him speak into my aching spirit,Woman, you are loosed…!.  Nothing better than being touched by Him and made able to stand straight again with nothing in my hand but grace upon grace to spend lavishly toward others.

Christian Artist

I don’t know for sure what that dear Woman did for the rest of that Sabbath day when her life was changed forever or what she did on the many days afterward. But I get the feeling that she never stopped praising God. I get the feeling that because she was no longer bent, because she was now able to stand, that she spent the remainder of her life in worship and witness, keenly aware of others who needed the same touch.

And standing… she could see them.
At least, this what I want to do: to see, speak and to touch others with this love of Christ.

So maybe today, you find yourself  “bent”,  doubled in two and unable to stand beneath the weight of your burden. I pray that you can clearly hear these words from Jesus now– saying  “… you are loosed from your infirmity!”  Whatever that may be and then come… stand with me.

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Linking with Jennifer and Kelly!

when Deep calls to Deep

Except for the last few glorious hours before sunset each evening, it’s been mildly overcast for the better part of the last few days.  Considering how we’ve been out all day roaming and filming in various villages, this is a tremendous gift. I’ll accept it gratefully, along with the many other gifts God has been sending my way for weeks… months? Years?

Yes…. years.

when deep calls to deep

There are no other words to describe it;  I was M-A-D.

I honestly believed I was supposed to be here three years ago. Maybe I was. However, a cloud of sin hung thick and low over my life and kept me completely blinded to the fact there was no way  … well… no way in hell that I could serve here at the time.  And it truly broke my heart. God closed the door to that experience and instead, lovingly, He sent me into the desert for some “Wilderness Training”.

For a while it seemed as if I was sent there wounded and alone, but undoubtedly, God met me there.

It was in the wilderness that I would learn my name again.
It was there that He would remind me of my call.
It was in this wilderness that I learned, with certainty, of His strong and powerful, unwavering and unchanging love for me— of His holiness and how to hear and listen to His voice alone.

There I found Living water for my insatiable thirst and the Bread of Life I’d been craving, which finally satisfied this deep hunger I’ve had all my life.

Repentance, cleansing, wholeness and deep satisfaction…. are now mine.

I thought I was supposed to be here three years ago. Maybe I was. But I know, beyond a shadow of doubt, that I’m supposed to be here now… sitting on a wall, overlooking a mango orchard and watching the sun set on another day in the Dominican Republic.

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The story this time is clean water and the people who need it. Over 1-million worldwide with countless communities struggling against the odds to fight water related diseases and dehydration every day.

Like many other places in the world, this is a story being written in a tragically beautiful setting that could easily be considered a slice of paradise in most respects.  Also like many places in the world, the safety net here is much thinner than you’d imagine with very little separating most people from the harsh realities of life.

The story here is clean water and how, even on an island where there’s plenty all around, the lack of resources draws a sharp dividing line between the “Haves” and the “Have-Nots” with their ability to purchase or provide.

Clean water.  Water that ultimately sustains… because it comes in the name of the Living Water.

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Maybe it was that thirsty time during my wilderness training that finally helped me to see and understand.

Perhaps it was how Jesus, so loving, gentle and strong, “had to go out of His way” to meet me at the well, and helped me to finally know.  But I know.

Who better to tell the story of a satisfied thirst than one who knows what it’s like to be thirsty?

Who better than one who knows what it’s like to be broken and trying to draw from the wrong source?

One who knows what it’s like to drink “improved” water that looks and appears clean but is really contaminated with hidden things unseen to the naked eye… things that will make you sick. Things that will kill your soul.

Stories that RESTORE

Not long ago, I asked a chemist to tell me the difference between “improved” water and clean water. Without missing a beat, he said, “Improved water will still kill you, it just does it more slowly.”

The same is true spiritually: “improved” just isn’t good enough. Improved spirituality will still kill you— it just does it more slowly. No thank you Sir.

I’m looking for a life-giving relationship with the only One who can sustain. Give me that clean and clear Living Water drawn from the well so deep that only God, himself can draw it out. Drinking from this well, the Deep of Him calls to the Deep in me so clearly.

I’ll never be thirsty again.

We’ve come to the Dominican Republic with the privilege of telling the story of how God is using clean water provided through a program developed by Water@Work.  With their Dominican Partner agency, Fundacìon Water Work, they are building water plants alongside established churches in needy communities so that others can be physically nourished and sustained.

But it can’t end there, and it doesn’t.

The physically thirsty come with what they can afford and they buy. Others receive what they need even when they can not afford to pay and still others, are finding employment and ways to use this resource to develop cleansed water products and provide for their families and communities.

Ministries are being developed by churches around these community water houses with great hopes of opening schools and other opportunities for spiritual nourishment.

The Sky Clean LadiesIED Dominicana Church

Through this tangible expression of God’s love, all who come will have a chance to experience and hear about the Living Water of Jesus Christ with the possibility of forever shaping their eternity.

Water at Work Flower Girl

This story is about clean water… sustaining water — that Amazing Grace-filled Living Water, which only God can provide. Whoever drinks THIS water, Jesus says, will never thirst again.

Take it from a woman who met Him at the well:   I know.

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