Category Archives: lost & found

You’re Not the Boss of Me

In the checkout line of a small local store, I had a few moments to observe the people around me— especially the man behind the counter. He was careful and attentive to the task before him and though it was only mid-morning, he wore an expression of exhaustion known well by anyone whose ever worked a retail job during the holiday season.

It’s not for the faint of heart I tell ya!

You're Not the Boss

Exchanging pleasantries, I complimented him on how neat and orderly everything was in spite of the obvious chaos this time of the year usually brings. “Thanks,” he sighed “It’s almost over.” I felt his pain but I wanted to leave him with something more. I tried to encourage him to fight the urge of pushing to get through or else possibly, like in many of my previous holiday seasons, he might get to the other side only to discover he’d missed it all… he might miss Jesus, again.  His face relaxed into an easy smile and agreeing, he thanked me for that reminder. “I really needed to hear that today.” He said. 

I did too.

I need to be reminded again and again that the whole point of the holiday experience… of daily living, is not simple basic survival. Of course, there are seasons, sorrows and situations… those moments when this survival mode of operation takes over for a time but it’s so necessary to refuse to stay there— refusing to push or be pushed through life lest we miss the moments and lose ourselves and our joy in the process.

My dearest friend and I shared this recently because it’s exactly what God has been showing her as well. She told me that this season, God was directing her to be intentional about “protecting her joy”. (She writes about it HERE)

Yes. So rational. So reasonable, loving and kind. She put words to what I’ve been feeling— this need to ferociously protect and guard my joy— every day— not so I can hoard and hold it close, but so I have more to really give away. All I can say is that it worked— but it didn’t happen easily.

You know, in some places right now, floodwaters are rising. Today I watched a video showing an entire house being lifted off it’s foundations and carried away downstream. It’s a terrible reality people are facing at this very moment. Spiritually, it’s one I fight every day. The holidays only make it worse.  And while those poor homeowners could do nothing to keep the volume and force of that water from destroying their house, I recognize I need to do whatever I can to keep the volume and forceful dictates of the world from moving me off my foundations.  Guarding my joy I must refuse to push through or be pushed along by an unnatural holiday ferver fueled  by this stuff-driven culture.

Altered life and heart

Because we all know it’s there. We feel it— that unseen force that wants to drive us along it’s track. I saw it today— in another store where, deeply-discounted Holiday items were lined up row after row and now, just one aisle over, the Valentine candy, cards and stuffed animals had taken up residence. Closer to the checkouts, exercise clothing, work out programs and equipment now replaced the space recently held by the exotic recipe ingredients and heavy foodstuffs. Are we this blind?!? Once upon a time, maybe I was. Just allowing myself to be pushed here and there, feeling completely driven inside and out by this horrible, crazy, guilt-laden “just get through it” mentality until there I was… on the other side and feeling like I had missed the point again.

Because mostly…I had.
Now I’m refusing.
I can’t undo what’s been done but I can refuse to be further undone by it all.

I can look at the calendar, the clock, the computer and potential commitments— look hard at this consumer and capital-driven culture and say, “You’re not the boss of me!” I can do this and really, for the sake of my sanity and Gospel witness,  I must.

God's Peace

What good can be done if during the holidays or the anydays I’m just as culture driven and frazzled as everyone else? How can I really see others if I’m just another cog in the same machine churning out day after day and intent on marketing the next thing to be possessed or celebrated from the ever-widening shallows?

I can’t. I won’t.
That machine is not the boss of me.
God is.
At least… that’s what I want.

Guarding my joy is the ultimate act of worship before a God who has commanded us to love Him above all and to love our neighbor as ourselves. It’s the ability to open wider into the space needed to love God and our neighbors well because we’ve learned how to love ourselves well.

It’s not about self-help and happiness— it’s self-care in full view of what God cares about most: holiness, which ultimately leads us to care about the things He does. Blocking out the noise and chaos so we can hear and see what He’s doing all around us and understand how He’s inviting us to join Him.

This isn’t a new idea of course. I don’t expect I’ll be changing the world with this radical act of revolution against the status quo. I am praying for revival  however, and maybe it can begin with me where it matters most: my heart, my marriage, family,  friends and neighbors. Maybe this way I can joy-FULLY be that small spark of God’s light in my community and eventually on the wider mission field if this is His will, simply because I know who is the boss of me: God.  And He is… so good….. to me.

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Spending Well At Christmas

Picture yourself: hunkered down with a  watchful eye trained in all directions, scanning for any sign of enemy movement. Ears straining, listening intently for any foreign sound. The tension is mounting; attack is inevitable— it’s about that time.

Spending Well

Almost out of nowhere, the buzz of aircraft fills the skies seeming to come from every direction. Hundreds of chutes deploy sailing through the air and firing in your direction. The noise is deafening, sulphuric smoke fills the air, clouding your senses; blocking your view. But you’re prepared; unloading round after round you and your team take out every. single. one. The ammunition is gone but with no movement from enemy territory, you’re feeling  it: victory.

As the madness gives way to silence, the signal comes to take stock of the casualties. Parachutes and their fallen lay in heaps around the field, hung up in trees, swaying in the breeze. Cautiously you edge forward, prepared for any sudden movement— except there is none.

Not a sound.
Not even blood.
Something isn’t right.

One by one, the reports come in that every “casualty” is a rubber dummy. Strapped with explosives, made to look like enemy paratroopers, you and your team have just spent all your energy and ammunition on decoys.

Worse, some of your own team got caught in the crossfire and now lay wounded. Worse still, the enemy…the REAL enemy is still coming and you’ve got nothing left to give. There’s no other choice but to regroup, retreat and give up this piece of territory.

Or be captured.

I first heard the basics of this story (which I’ve obviously laced with a divine bit of “holy imagination) in a Let My People Think broadcast entitled “Lessons from War in a Battle for Ideas ” by Apologist Ravi Zacharius. He’d been visiting a museum in France on the recent anniversary of the Normandy invasion and this story, along with a few others, gave him much to think about and share.

Because I have the American perspective of history and of living on the victorious side of the record books, I can smile a bit at the ingenuity of the soldiers and strategists who pulled off such a daring stunt. I mean,  HA! Rubber dummies! A purely genius moment of classic Psyops warfare. I suppose I do feel a little badly for how stupid those other guys must have felt but seriously?! Who’d fall for that?

Of course, there’s a valuable takeaway, which is the reason the story was told by a Christian for Christians. The point made is intended to help us recognize how each of us is also, at some level, engaging daily in a very real battle with a very real enemy. This enemy, satan, has most of his (temporary) successes bound up in moments like these.

Rather than attack us directly, satan can find better ways to make us think we’re being attacked. Before we know it, he’s drawn our fire and we’re giving it all we’ve got; wiping out our energy and reserves, our kindness and compassion and ultimately, our precious minutes and gospel witness.  All of it spent… on rubber dummies. Often then discovering that others— some we love or ought to love— were wounded in the skirmish and we’re the ones holding a smoking gun.

But they looked so real!

Rubber dummies take on many forms and they have their seasonal attire as well. Currently, there’s red cups, Starbucks and a variety of other holiday expressions. In today’s world they’re couched and cloaked in hashtags, sometimes wearing a particular skin color, creed or a badge. Sometimes they just don’t “do Jesus” and worship the right way any day of the week.  There are many others.

Each scenario holds just enough truth blended with a basket full of lies so that at first glance we’re deceived and go full throttle.  When the wreckage clears we’re left wondering how did we get so distracted AGAIN? How did we lose so much territory and waste so much time over something like THIS? It’s hard— because on the surface many of these things matter but I feel pretty confident in saying that Jesus hasn’t intended for us to stay and engage life at surface levels where most of these things take place.

Reading this morning from A Slice of Infinity, I was reminded again how the call of the Christian is to live as He did, counter-culturally, which is NOT the same thing as living anti-culturally. To be sure, it’s a life of constant tension, as we seek to engage the lost and model Christ to a rapidly disintegrating culture, often while having to simultaneously represent our faith and turn the other cheek.  A lot.

However, it’s our ability to embrace Christ and engage others in the midst of this tension while guarding our reactions that will— and must— look so dramatically different from the culture around us. It’s seldom a public, showy show-down.. it’s more often the humble and quiet, salt and light business of just doing the right things in the right ways for the right reasons that point others to Him.

The Weight of Glory2

It’s the willingness to live a life of surrender and standing, with God’s help, in the ever-widening cultural chasm that threatens to swallow us whole. Standing with our eyes so fixed on Jesus that when those rubber dummies descend from the skies and the pandemonium swirls all around, we are able to hear Him whisper, “Steady. Steady.” and instead of “unloading” we use our witness well.

At Christmastime …yes, please for the love of all that is holy…especially now when people all around are so confused about the meaning of Christmas or have divorced it from any meaning altogether.  So that maybe.. just maybe this would be the year that others might begin to see the meaning behind how we live because of the Hopeful Reason we have to truly celebrate and then… just maybe, like the shepherds keeping watch, they also might say, Wow…

“Let us go and see this thing made known to us by the Lord.”

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Feeding the Deepest Hungers

Seriously, there’s nothing like the good gift of perspective to soften up the hard spots in your soul or to shine just the right amount of light in it’s darkest corners. Inevitably, that “lost coin” turns up again illuminating the fact of how rich you truly are.

I was reminded of this recently as I had the privilege to listen to a man of God tell his story of a hungry childhood filled with mayonnaise sandwiches and cold sugar water— a life marinated in a praying mother’s faith and love. He said they were “Po”; too economically challenged to merit to full word “poor”.  We all laughed.  I imagine there were others in that room who had memories of this place too.

Feeding the Deepest Hungers

I know pieces of that hungry place. Truthfully, my life didn’t know the constant daily struggle of the poverty he described. However,  I spent a painful period in this place he spoke of;  just long enough to teach me what I needed to know about the deepest sorts of hunger.  Those hungry years perhaps did more to shape my life and understanding of what’s true, good and valuable than most of the other times I was otherwise sheltered and fed.

This is where the good gift of perspective comes in: for at least two reasons, I confess that I’m truly and totally thankful for those dim, lean and hungry years. I could probably come up with more but here are at least my top two.

First, I see now that during those years I learned something about a mother’s love.

                     Especially my own.

Perspective’s gift has helped me to rightly remember the period in my life when I first moved South. I was too naive to fully recognize the struggle at the time but now, I can clearly see how my mother’s love and sacrifice kept her children fed and sadly, somewhat oblivious to our predicament. We were struggling hard and I didn’t know… didn’t or maybe couldn’t understand it.

Because we left NJ under the cover of darkness, she had to keep things on the down-low — we couldn’t apply for the typical programs … she didn’t have custody of us.  It was bad but still better than what we left behind.            Oh sin…

I recall the eviction from one house and then another. I remember the bare cupboards and empty refrigerator. There was that time someone gave her chitterlings and it was all we had but the smell was too much for me so I went to bed hungry instead. There was the massive garden and the rows and rows of vegetables I despised picking and yet, learned to can and preserve one horribly hot summer because it was so important to her.

I didn’t know why.
I complained a lot.
I was selfish.

Second, I was reminded of my favorite times in the week were when we went out to eat at a little “Meat and 3”cafe in town. FINALLY, a hot meal with stuff I liked!  We’d always show up late and by then we were so hungry. Mom would sit us down and fix plates from the steam table and as we feasted, she’d visit over coffee with the owners. We’d finish up with sticky cobbler or something like that while she helped bust down the steam table; disappearing many times through the swinging doors to the kitchen in back.  We did this a few times a week.

                Quite often actually.

It’s taken me all these years to connect the dots and see the complete picture: my mother never paid for those meals. Not with money anyway. Her “payment” was to help clean up and close out the place for the night; wash some dishes, wipe the counters, mop the floors. During one of the most fragile times in our lives, she fed us that way.   Thanks Mom.

Mother Teresa on Kindness

Here’s the second thing: those people who owned the place, they didn’t have to feed us.

We weren’t from around there; they didn’t have to let us in the door or show us any kindness whatsoever. Not only did they do it quite often, but they treated my mother as a friend and helped her keep her dignity by not only giving her a way to take care of her children but a listening ear, a cup of coffee and eventually… a part time job with bonus leftovers.

Like many things in my life back then, the sweetness was short-lived because it wasn’t fully rooted in the solidity of the Gospel. However, the heart lessons remain deeply rooted in me. Thanks to this period in my life,  the good gift of perspective has given me empathy.

I can easily recognize and see the many levels, faces and signs of poverty— physical, emotional and spiritual— and care enough to do whatever I can to help.

It’s what I hope you and the people around me are able to see as well.

Hunger Stats

Everyone knows that this is the time of the year when the requests for help and donations will start rolling in and I hope you’ll consider the ways and places where God is leading you to be involved.

Sometimes it’s all we can do to give a donation to an agency such as Baptist Global Response and others like them, who will see that funds are distributed internationally and spent within  communities to purchase emergency food supplies.  Many of these agencies also supply job skill training or start-up seed and livestock to give families a foothold for the future.

Shelters and food banks like the Savannah Baptist Center or the Broad Street Ministry Center also meet the needs of those living on the fringes by providing food, clothing, toiletry items, job training, counseling and spiritual support as well. Some schools and communities have backpack programs for the kids who will go home to hungry houses.

These are the BIG and PUBLIC sorts of ways you can help but there are others. Look around and maybe there’s someone in your midst who could used a helping hand to get on their feet— share a meal, teach a skill… listen.    Show them Jesus.

That’s mostly what I see now.

I see the sheltering wings of my Savior guiding us along during those years when His name was only beginning to be understood by my heart. After all these years, thanks to the good gift of perspective I look back and barely remember the hunger but I’ll never forget being fed and how He was near.

It makes me want to feed others too

What about you?

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