“I will punish her for the days
she burned incense to the Baals; she decked herself with rings and jewelry, and went after her lovers, but me she forgot,” declares the Lord. “Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the wilderness and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. There she will respond as in the days of her youth, as in the day she came up out of Egypt.”
He drew me into the heart of the wilderness just outside my aching soul with a voice so earnest and so holy and so pure with love.
It was love I needed.
It was love I was seeking all along.
Real love from the Source of all love.
Using the mortar and pestle of the Gospel,
God pounded and crushed my resistance into an ashen powder.
Then hovering over the waters of my deep
He whispered three words,
“Let there Be.”
And I am because He is….
the voice of God,
was all my heart could bear for days
and months in that wilderness until at last,
it was the only voice I could hear anywhere anymore.
It was now the only voice I wanted and could trust
and follow now with my heart and vow renewed.
Walking wounded yet restored,
the ache of wanting to know and be known,
to see and be seen,
to hear and be heard
Sometimes I have to push past the pain of
what I know,
what I understand and remember
mixed with what I don’t know, and don’t understand
and. don’t. want. to. remember….
because THIS is my offering.
This is the holy thing God did…
And the ache of wanting –of needing to speak because He speaks, through His Word, through His world, through my pain and joy and life….
to share what I’ve learned
with those I …
has been overwhelming.
I am undone and it can’t be undone.
Oh the ache…the loneliness of the lie that I’m the only one nearly overwhelms me along the road sometimes when I wonder if “God really said…”
But I know He did.
Oh then I hear it… faint at first…that unmistakable voice I remember so well and know so intimately…
the voice of God pouring through another…a Natasha, a Duane, a Katherine, a Lani, a Diana,…a Jennifer…and so many others!
My brother’s and sisters whom I recognize instantly because they know and they speak with His voice too.
Page by page,
word by word,
breath by breath
and deed by deed…
our voices join together
across time and space
and land and country
and erupt like a chorus of hallelujahs
singing psalms over the brokenness of this world,
drawing others in from their ignorance and wilderness,
drawing and inviting them to join in the hopeful and healing journey