Tag Archives: see

Once Was Blind

Psalm Window

This post is in response to a challenge issued at a blog called The Gypsy Mama and my sweet friend Natasha over at To Live for Him . It’s called “5-Minute Fridays” and since I’ve been pretty much stalled in the water with this blog endeavor, I thought I’d give it a whirl! I’m actually caught up on my video editing and can maybe get back into my groove and chase down some of those words and ideas I’ve been scribbling into my “gonna write that down” notebook! This Friday’s topic is:        “See”

I don’t know exactly when it started happening or rather when it just became apparent to me that I could feel people…and actually see them the way I do. What was even more shocking was the discovery that not everyone does this. It’s a precious gift from God to be able to look both ways…inside and out…. at the world around and within me. Its’ as if I’m on both sides of the same window…at the same time.

No….I can’t read minds, but I can FEEL feelings and have an empathy so keen that it’s almost palatable and tangible at times. And the most defining moment of my life came when I understood that God gave this gift for me to counsel, disciple and teach.

And I can clearly remember the moment when I got to the place when I *truly desired* Him to use me in this gifting…and asked no, {I BEGGED} like Solomon, only for wisdom to use it well.

God answered.

I’m still learning; but I’m not afraid any longer. But here’s the only hitch; I can’t choose what I see. No, I can’t choose what I feel or don’t feel…it all comes rushing against me.

At first, in my immaturity, I just took it in and on and all over me thinking this was just how it was supposed to be. I just allowed the seeing and feeling of other people and the deep {God-given} desire to help, rescue, guide…whatever…abuse and assault my senses and sensibilities. Until, exhausted and emotionally spend,  I was like some heap of detritus wrecked and washed up on the shoreline after a hurricane.

I’ve  had to learn wisdom to go with the insight and discernment.

I’ve had to learn to die to myself and the pride of wanting to be the hero.

I’ve had to learn that only God rescues and saves and I must remain a willing vessel He will pour from when and where and to whom He wills.

I’ve had to learn to set boundaries and give myself permission to step away and allow God to be God.

Above all, I have learned humility and patience like I’ve never known and a spiritual sensitivity towards people I didn’t know I could have; to love as Jesus loves.

I am grateful.

He has opened the eyes of my heart and I am

forever, completely…rapturously