Tag Archives: forgiveness

the holiest hush

we-are-tenantsI’ve been quieted…hushed even as I’ve taken in the weight of world events both public and private these past few weeks. Stunned speechless but not at all silenced in my soul. It’s been loud in there

I’m a Christian and though my hope is anchored, I need to be honest: I struggle.

Here, in my heart I’m all mixed up with the extremes of mourning with those who mourn and rejoicing with those who rejoice. It’s graduation season…it’s tornado season and many seasons in between. The words of Ecclesiastes 3 ring loud and clear:

“to everything there is a season
and a time for every matter under heaven.”

For birthing and dying, planting and plucking,
For killing and healing, breaking down and building up,
For loving and hating, weeping and laughing
For mourning and dancing, scattering and gathering
For embracing and pushing away, searching and giving up
For keeping and throwing away
For tearing and mending…

For love, hate, war and peace…and importantly,
a time to keep silence and a time to speak.

I’ve seen them all in the past few weeks…
and maybe so have you. Let me tell you more…



I’m a girl in the midst of WOE! and “undone.”

Because so much like Isaiah, I was brought to the place where in my spirit, I saw the Lord, seated on His throne high and lifted up….exalted and like Isaiah, all I could say with so much fear and trembling was


To say I am utterly undone with increasing thankfulness for that moment in my life is probably the most severe understatement I could possibly make. Words don’t cut it when trying to describe a moment like that…it’s all just ….so….”Woe!” Let me tell you more…


gracefigsufficient for me.
This I know.

But what do you do when that grace doesn’t seem sufficient to cover you in the eyes of someone else?

What do you do when that grace is stingily portioned out and never seems to quite cover you?

I have several relationships in my life where this is the common theme: “I deserve more grace than I can allow for you because (fill in the blank).”

It’s as though they know where I stand with the Lord…
(and they KNOW I stand)
…and yet they wish to ever so slightly punish me as well.

Subtly, softly…secretly.

It’s as though someone still has to pay.
In their minds, through their words and behavior,
my debts are still outstanding.

it hurts.

What do I do? How do I live from this place?

HOW God?!?!

Jesus answered; “Seventy times seven”.

I must choose to give grace anyway.

Choose to give
even and especially
to those who will not give it to me.

{I must choose to be graceFULL}

Choose to be filled by God to overflowing…
…a direct river of grace that goes to and through
and BEYOND my soul and my need;
and splashes over onto others.

Choose to give from God’s great storehouse of grace opened to me.

THAT’S what makes the grace of and from God as deep and as wide as it is; I don’t *need* it from someone else. There’s enough to cover me and enough for me to share when it seems scarce.

God alone sees the depth and provides for my need, restores my soul and gives me the grace to move through the gracelessness of this life.

And it’s why I can have the courage to love Him so much.

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