“One of the staggering things that takes place in stage three of the caterpillar’s metamorphosis to becoming a butterfly is that once a caterpillar goes into its cocoon, it literally liquifies—completely changing itself all the way to the molecular level before it can recreate itself into a butterfly. It basically loses everything, not just shedding its outer layer but a profound internal transformation – a complete disintegration of the old in order to take on the new original design for its ultimate purpose, a butterfly.” Greg Nelson Let me tell you more…
Bah. I knew this would happen; epic blog fail. Ok, I actually do recognize that I haven’t “failed” at the blog thing but the truth is I knew this was going to take some time and effort and I really wanted to do it right. I wanted to be consistent and really pour out what God is pouring in and through my life. <Sigh> Truth is; I’ve bitten off more than I can chew right now and am working on reorganizing my life….again.
In fact, this is a season of major moves of God and realignment both personally and in my relationships. It’s all good stuff but like most of my “stuff”, it’s complex and messy. It’s real. It’s raw. This is no “sit-com” or pre-scripted “reality” t.v. moment. It is, in fact, a lot like my last entry: death, birth and metamorphosis.
Grace. I’m in the midst of God’s great and glorious grace. Bigger, deeper, wider and more thorough than I ever imagined. This is not just a life-altering moment; this is a continuation of a life “altaring” * moment. Laying down in view of the Light. Nothing in my life will go untouched by His gentle hand and His saving, merciful grace. Shadows. Resting in the shadows…in the shade of God’s mighty, sheltering wings. A thought from a line or a quote from one of the many, many things I’ve recently read has stuck with me, and was again confirmed by a recent retreat speaker, that shadow-times are not the absence of God but in reality they are indicative of the presence of God. In order for something to give off a shadow, there has to be light. God is the Light. And it’s in these times…when we are sad, lonely, going through changes, etc. that God is sheltering us in the shadow of his wings….comforting us while we repent, learn, rest, grow…grieve. There are others I know who have been there too–my sisters, my brothers, my friends and we know it’s a very good place to be.
Because God cares. He sees. He knows. He is good and I am His. As Jason Gray puts it SO well, I am…we are BELOVED. Ginosko
*altaring- a term coined by Jennifer Kennedy Dean in her book Life Unhindered.