{dys}connect

Five-Minute Friday Word: Connect

My struggling place. The place where I’ve wrestled with God learning His name…and mine.

Connection is a powerful, vulnerable place. After all, if you choose to connect you are choosing to open up at least part of you to that which you are connecting. And it’s in that vulnerable power-place I’ve met with God and he’s met with me. It’s where I’ve been the most, the best, the worst, the highest and the lowest I can possibly be.

I’ve feared connection most of my life because connection requires risk. I learned at a young age that people and places and things will disconnect from you without a moments notice or a care in the world about how you feel.

The hardest part about those disconnectings is that it’s never a “clean” break–a piece of you goes too…or stays behind. You’re left ripped and swollen and scarred…and scared of the next time someone leaves, idols burn, parents die, loved ones fail, people abuse, worlds collide…silences hurt. Wary. Because it always happens…again.

I’ve feared connection too because there have been times I’ve dys-connected. Connected wrongly. Rashly and without recognizing I’m headed for trouble.  It’s been my deep place of holy hungering, dangerous desire and life-long longing for a lasting, loving connection that’s made this such dangerous place for me.

But God.

Again…but God so rich in mercy has taken these things in me the broken un-connected things and the slippery dys-connected things–and He’s mercied me. He’s mended me. He’s reminded me in His steady, sure Word that He is my shelter and abiding place.

He is my rooted and established vine and in Him I am a rooted and established branch…ingrafted, adopted and accepted. Safe…kept…and finally, fully connected because he is fully faithful.

Five minutes of free writing and submitted to 5-minute Fridays….3 days late!

8 thoughts on “{dys}connect

  1. So glad I stopped by! Love your writing style…my friend and I just talked about this today. We shared even the difficulty of connecting with God at times out of fear. I loved your phrase, “He mercied me”…oh our precious Father! Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

    1. And thank you for stopping by and sharing my heart. I think as long as we have breath to praise Him and to share those moments with one another, God is glorified and even those “dis/dys” connected moments will bring him ultimate glory. THIS is a bit of heaven to share here on earth! God’s peace!

  2. I love this. And I “get it”! You captured so well what the constant surprise of disconnection feels like to a child…and how we discover through grace how safe and sheltered we are, even in the middle of the pain.

    1. Oooh Girl I love your WordPress theme! It’s so spiffy! And I appreciate you stepping over in my direction..I will be stepping over into yours as well. It’s so refreshing to find others who are finding and using their voice to speak from places God is taking them. Thanks!

  3. You are right, in order to connect we must take a risk. And that can be so very hard sometimes. I felt “a connection” as I read your words because I, too, have been there and have experienced those disconnecting, broken times, as well as the awesome healing power of that connection we have with God. Thanks for sharing!

  4. And worth every late day! Clearly, God has made some beauty in your brokenness. Truly beautiful post! Thanks for commenting on mine and giving me the opportunity to find YOU!

    1. Thankyou Becky! I look forward to getting to know you this way. I’ve been trusting God to reveal what He wants to do in all of this…I have a heart for ministry and believe it or not, those in the ministry because they tend to be the most marginalized “untouchable” people in the church. I have a sincere heart for missions as well and pray that God would show and tell me how to show and tell HIS story! God Bless you–let’s stay in touch!

Welcome to the discussion!